While interviewing a guest I asked a question about relationships. More specifically what women should do when feeling “alone”. Almost immediately she was able to expound on her thoughts. Take a look at what she had to say.
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By Shequita Lee
Why do some people have such a hard time with being alone? Being alone doesn’t mean you are the only person on this earth. Being alone doesn’t mean that you are necessarily “lonely”. In actuality being alone is not really alone at all. There is always someone, with you, watching you.
Some will say that being alone is a good thing; a time to grow, stretch, step outside of yourself.
Here is an example:
Children are sometimes put in time-out, because of their misconduct. A parent may have a conversation that goes something like this:
I want you to think about what you did, and I will be back to check on you. When the parent or care provider comes back the question is asked; “did you learn anything”?
Most kids will admit what they learned and promise not to do it anymore, because their reward is to get back with the rest of the family or other children. The time out gave them time to reflect, and it made them realize, ok I don’t want to be back here again.
The key thing in that lesson is the alone time that the child received. This time allowed them the opportunity to think about all the things they did to get themselves into the situation of time-out, and more importantly to reflect on a more appropriate way to behave. Self reflection should produce self improvement.
The same holds true for adults. Let’s say you are in a relationship and it ends, both people go their separate way. (Perhaps a matter of misconduct on someone’s part) In the time that you are alone you think of what has occurred, what could have been done differently, or better, and what you plan to do in the future, in terms of fostering a meaningful friendship. The time that you spend alone contemplating CHANGE, also allows time to regroup and reflect on the possibilities of a greater life without the ties of a relationship.
Contrary to belief being alone is a good thing. It gives you an opportunity to think about everything that happened in the past that you probably didn’t see because you were so pre-occupied.. Don’t think that after your break up with someone that you need to get into another relationship so quickly. Enjoy being single & being alone. Being alone is detrimental to your growth & definitely needed for your journey.
Written by Shequita Lee
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